Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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