Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
