You can't motorboat a personality
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
