I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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