And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
When did we convert life to cartoon?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
