we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
