I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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