I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Michael Bay diarrhea
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Randomize
