i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
