Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
