im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
