lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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