Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
