If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
this will be a night to untag.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
