Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
