oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
