I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
