I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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