If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
