She went from zero to smokin in five shots
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I think my moral compass just broke
soo... how was my night?
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