so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
