got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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