Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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