i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
