The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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