out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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