yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
