I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
