i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
