haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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