the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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