Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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