I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
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