Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Randomize
