is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
