I just threw up on my dentist
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
