8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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