hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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