If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We left the knife in your bed.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
