Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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