Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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