i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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