Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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