Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
