It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
