kristin has been a bad kristin
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
i think i just lost a toe
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