WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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