You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
