Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
