Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
